Fix My Flat

Main girl part
Lefty -
Debbie
Teddy

Verse 1

There was this girl her name was Gina
didn't know what to make of her demeanor
Met at Neisons she was so hot
I think she likes me but maybe not

one night she said had a flat tire
by the sound of it she was no liar
I asked if I could help she said okay
She asks "got some booze to make the day"

a huh!!!!

this is the moment a lead-in to love
I know Teddy's working his magic from above
oh God let this work because I get so little
for the game of love there is no acquittal

could be no flat it's just a fake
a simple way to see my snake
or could it be just another way
For my demons to kill me via lay

We get to the car indeed she's flat
so I busted out the wrench for car combat
but there was no wrench and mine didn't work
Wrench is at my place - oh she smirked

She is so loopy to park her car
she ran into mine left a paint scar
yet this wasn't enough to realize
spilled wine at my place was not idealized

she called car service said fix my flat
in the meanwhile let's get to work on your cat
we talked for an hour about military life
for the people that have wronged us in our strife

while waiting we got cozy on the couch
she did not seem like she such was a grouch
then screamed "Why isn't my tire fixed!"
my anxieties were now mixed

for it seemed she was in the mood
I wondered how else I could get screwed
she got violent started kicking my stuff
and all I wanted to do was see her buff

--------Verse 2-------------

It didn't work every time I'd try romance
she would come up with some rage stance
she said where is that damn car service
this rambling is starting to make me nervous

Now she's threatening to strike me
she's not thinking of my third knee
maybe she is but God won't let her
that bastard wants me to do better

I want it now I don't care who from
screw me till my dick is numb
but please don't beat me up in the process
or kick my crap around with agress

Situation is bleak test a theory
because she is getting so weary
if she wants me I know how to happen
strip naked and see if she starts a snappin

get freaky

this night's not through without some fun
if still a good laugh if I get none.
she acted as if nothing was amiss
my sausage simply didn't exist

All she could do, is, bitch and moan
about her flat tire wow What a cyclone
10 minutes strip naked try to strike a mood
I know what "she'd" expect if "she" was nude

So I took her home I gave it a shot
God said sex that night was not the plot
on the way home it was fairly romantic
she had changed tune she wasn't frantic

She said "thanks for nothing!" what else could I do
she wanted me but foot didn't match the shoe
I'm gonna find that jokester running my show
I try to run but he keeps saying whoa

That tire she couldn't wait til morning.
I guess it's God's way of giving me warning.
her tire my wrench in her socket
now the best I get is hand in pocket

--------Verse 3-------------
Couple days later I'm at the bar
Debbie says I hear you got bizarre
you got naked, Chris!, with my friend
for our friendship now for you must mend

for she is a woman with heart and soul
not some piece of meat for your pole
now I feel guilty like I'm some whore
and all was trying to do is get my foot in her door

Then I find out from Debbie my penis is small
Hammered Gina now has memory recall
Born again Virgin's sobbing about my nudity
Yet she ridicules my manhoodity

You gotta be kidding me

there is a class sex 101
it's where virgins go to learn of fun
all Wangs start small then start to excite
that blood engorge now huge in sight

so here's a tip if you want to embrace
don't start the rumors you big disgrace
you scorned black widow who's so unhappy
it starts the lies you are so sappy

For you would've seen my big member
had it not been for your distemper
should have mounted that Virgin meat
for few have pleasured with that treat

left a message of a second date
maybe we'll both find our soul mates
instead all I got was a rebel reply
restraining order if you don't comply

Then I talked to Lefty he said she's quite loose
hundreds have touch her caboose
have no rhyme for what's wrong with me
Or why she's shocked at my weinee.

Teddy too was giving me crap
Gina's my good friend you're such a sap
Now let me see if I got this straight
You used Gina as my hit bait.

You gave Gina 7 figures as pay
To bang me but I am one tough lay
I did everything possible to score
But couldn't get laid by a million dollar whore.

These Women sensitive about the love game
yet gossip so evil without any shame
Then get caught and run for cover
When a song is made of their endeavor

I thought this something for Jerry Springer
a circus a zoo and one small schwinger
where we can slap each other silly
while I show millions actual size of my willy

Oh it would be such a wonderful show
it turns out Jerry's doesn't deal with real whoas
So I'm left here wondering how to tell this story
why not write a song about all this glory

--------------------
Chorus

once I feel the night is strong
to hear you calling me
and testing out the waters
I'm drowning in the sea

Just try to break on through
It cannot be that hard
Just reach on through the grip
And relingish my guard

Just open the secret
that is surrounding me
I do not like it here
A tragedy
(Unlock the mystery)
veil release
one day you'll see
the real god.